Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
ALAN KINGComedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.
More Alan King Quotes
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For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
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My lawyer said, “Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?” I said, “Fire and theft.” The lawyer frowned. “Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.”
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
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That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
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It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
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We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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My father helped me leave. He said, ‘It’s all out there, it’s not here.’
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I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
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Let’s face it: It’s difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.
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I don’t mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…
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One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
ALAN KING