Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
ALAN KINGI don’t mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
More Alan King Quotes
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As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
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It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
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You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
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Let’s face it: It’s difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
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One thing I’ve never said in my whole life is, ‘Let’s have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.’
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For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
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Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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My father helped me leave. He said, ‘It’s all out there, it’s not here.’
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My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
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I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
ALAN KING