Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
ALAN KINGIt’s more fun with someone who really likes it. I can’t imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
More Alan King Quotes
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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The other day my house caught fire.
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It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
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Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
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Let’s face it: It’s difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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It’s more fun with someone who really likes it. I can’t imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
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Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
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When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
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One thing I’ve never said in my whole life is, ‘Let’s have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.’
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My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn’t let him cut my nails.
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who’s living.
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I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.
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Then, of course, you’re hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
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When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I’m going to have for dinner or I can’t get through the day.
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Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up ‘vaudeville’ in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says ‘Milton Berle’ – and he made it just a tremendous party.
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One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
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I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore’s program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.
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When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn’t like it. I had to get even.
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I was a high school throw-out.
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As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
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I won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.
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You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex.
ALAN KING