“Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.”

I always plan dinner first thing in the morning.

My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn’t let him cut my nails.

As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.

If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.

I won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.

There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.

We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.

That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.

Modesty is not one of my virtues.

My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.

Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.

It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.

But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It’s much more fun.

We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…

My father helped me leave. He said, ‘It’s all out there, it’s not here.’

You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.

As long as I play ball, I can get any woman I want.

It makes me sick when I see a guy just stare at a loose ball and watch it go out of bounds.

I’ve always studied business. Even when I was a ball player, I’d read business journals and the business sections of newspapers.

I’m a playmaker, and I’m going to score. At the end of the day, my job is to put the ball in the basket.

I went from five foot eleven to six foot eight, and the more ball I played, the more I caught on to the game.

On the best tactic when playing alongside Kareem Abdul-Jabbar- Just give him the ball.

With a versatile player, there’s no spot on the court you can’t pass him the ball. You can do anything.

Whether it’s a tie game or down by 1 or up by five, it was always the same shot. So I always felt comfortable with the ball in my hands because it was in there a million times before.