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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.

Alan King

That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
ALAN KING

Great New Older Thing Year
The ability to absorb a book and make someone else’s words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
ALAN KING

Ability Absorb Book Else Exactly Make Someone Stage Story Word
Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex.
ALAN KING

Better Eat Much Other People Sex Some Special Talent Take Than Way
Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
ALAN KING

Comedy Create Nothing Reflection
My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
ALAN KING

Bed Eat Favorite Out Saturday Spend Sport Television Watch Way
One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
ALAN KING

Again Apple Cloudy Drank Faint Juice Little Morning Nurse One Pour Run Specimen Tube
When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, ‘You’re doing a Jewish act.’
ALAN KING

Done First Jewish Act Person Saw Told
We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
ALAN KING

Ability Behave Fun Make Society Watch
My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
ALAN KING

Country Cutter Dreamer Father Handbag Hero Smart Tough
I was a high school throw-out.
ALAN KING

High Out School Throw
A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let’s eat!
ALAN KING

Eat Every Holiday Jewish Kill Summer Try Won
My lawyer said, “Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?” I said, “Fire and theft.” The lawyer frowned. “Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.”
ALAN KING

Coverage Fire Frown Kind Lawyer Problem Theft
Banks have a new image. Now you have ‘a friend,’ your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
ALAN KING

Bank Banker Chain Come Down Friend Image New Pen
When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn’t like it. I had to get even.
ALAN KING

Apple Every Gave Hospital Juice Morning
I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
ALAN KING

Audience Big Comedy Identity Thing Think
Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
ALAN KING

Ball Everything Matzoh Mother Sank

Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.

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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.

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