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A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let’s eat!

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Eat Every Holiday Jewish Kill Summer Try Won

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up ‘vaudeville’ in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says ‘Milton Berle’ – and he made it just a tremendous party.
ALAN KING

Alongside Dictionary Milton Party Took Tremendous Vaudeville
My son says I never tell stories about anyone who’s living.
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Ability Audience Comedy Identity never Say Son Story Tell
The other day my house caught fire.
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Caught Day Fire House Other
If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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Alive Current Funny Keep Yourself
My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
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Country Cutter Dreamer Father Handbag Hero Smart Tough
Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore’s program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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Confidence First Freedom Gave Lot People Program Sullivan Television
Now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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Better Salami Sex Slice Thickly
A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let’s eat!
ALAN KING

Eat Every Holiday Jewish Kill Summer Try Won
Banks have a new image. Now you have ‘a friend,’ your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
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Bank Banker Chain Come Down Friend Image New Pen
You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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Attack Fun Make Somebody
When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
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All Birthday Celebrate Everybody Father Kid Tell Tree Use
There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.
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Charm Humor Rhythm Soul
Let’s face it: It’s difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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Difficult Face Funny Go Let Offend Worry
Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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Humor Jew Joke Objectivity Only Refer Speak Stage Unfunny
That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
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Great New Older Thing Year
Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
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Comedy Create Nothing Reflection

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