We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
ALAN KINGIf you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
More Alan King Quotes
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I always plan dinner first thing in the morning.
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You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.
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There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.
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One thing I’ve never said in my whole life is, ‘Let’s have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.’
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My father helped me leave. He said, ‘It’s all out there, it’s not here.’
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
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If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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The other day my house caught fire.
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When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I’m going to have for dinner or I can’t get through the day.
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When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
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My mother’s sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
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A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let’s eat!
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For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
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That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
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You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
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The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
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When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn’t like it. I had to get even.
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I was a high school throw-out.
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When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
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My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn’t let him cut my nails.
ALAN KING