“An old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: ‘Don’t end up like me.”

The ability to absorb a book and make someone else’s words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.

You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.

Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up ‘vaudeville’ in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says ‘Milton Berle’ – and he made it just a tremendous party.

The other day my house caught fire.

Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.

You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.

I had a sympathetic role in ‘thirtysomething,’ and in two weeks I’m going to do the role again.

One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.

When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.

I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.

One thing I’ve never said in my whole life is, ‘Let’s have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.’

We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.

When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.

For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.

Then, of course, you’re hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.

Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.

I don’t need a big wedding just someone worth spending the rest of my life with.

Our dreams have to be bigger. Our ambitions higher. Our commitment deeper. And our efforts greater. This is my dream for Reliance and for India.

I don’t think any one person will ever be bigger than the game.

O aching time! O moments big as years!

I have declined projects made under big banners because I didn’t have much to do in them.

The person with big talk and big dreams is more powerful than one with all the facts. I believe that the law was made for man and not man for the law; that government is the servant of the people and not their master.

I don’t think you should feel too pressured about a mixtape. Just do what you want to do and show the music you want to show. You’re not trying to win something big with it.

Every achievement, big or small, begins in your mind.