I always plan dinner first thing in the morning.
ALAN KINGI always plan dinner first thing in the morning.
More Alan King Quotes
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My mother’s sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, ‘You’re doing a Jewish act.’
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My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
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My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
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When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn’t like it. I had to get even.
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore’s program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
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You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
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Then, of course, you’re hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
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Banks have a new image. Now you have ‘a friend,’ your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
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I don’t mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
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I won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.
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But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It’s much more fun.
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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
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Let’s face it: It’s difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
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My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn’t let him cut my nails.
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There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
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Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who’s living.
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Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up ‘vaudeville’ in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says ‘Milton Berle’ – and he made it just a tremendous party.
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex.
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For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
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