Then, of course, you’re hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
ALAN KINGMy mother’s sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
More Alan King Quotes
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex.
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One thing I’ve never said in my whole life is, ‘Let’s have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.’
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I don’t mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
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When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
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There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.
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It’s more fun with someone who really likes it. I can’t imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
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As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, ‘You’re doing a Jewish act.’
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I always plan dinner first thing in the morning.
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As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.
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When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn’t like it. I had to get even.
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore’s program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who’s living.
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You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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There’s nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
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Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up ‘vaudeville’ in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says ‘Milton Berle’ – and he made it just a tremendous party.
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Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
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I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.
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I didn’t know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
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We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
ALAN KING