You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
ALAN KINGThen, of course, you’re hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
More Alan King Quotes
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When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
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As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore’s program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let’s eat!
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Now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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Banks have a new image. Now you have ‘a friend,’ your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
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As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.
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There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.
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My lawyer said, “Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?” I said, “Fire and theft.” The lawyer frowned. “Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.”
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My mother’s sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.
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An old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: ‘Don’t end up like me.
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Modesty is not one of my virtues.
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Then, of course, you’re hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
ALAN KING