Let’s face it: It’s difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
ALAN KINGModesty is not one of my virtues.
More Alan King Quotes
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The ability to absorb a book and make someone else’s words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
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I won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.
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There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.
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For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
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Now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.
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My lawyer said, “Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?” I said, “Fire and theft.” The lawyer frowned. “Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.”
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As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
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Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up ‘vaudeville’ in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says ‘Milton Berle’ – and he made it just a tremendous party.
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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
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I didn’t know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
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An old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: ‘Don’t end up like me.
ALAN KING