Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
ALAN KINGI made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
More Alan King Quotes
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When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, ‘You’re doing a Jewish act.’
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
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My father helped me leave. He said, ‘It’s all out there, it’s not here.’
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Let’s face it: It’s difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
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I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
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You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
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Now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
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The other day my house caught fire.
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My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn’t let him cut my nails.
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Modesty is not one of my virtues.
ALAN KING