Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex.
ALAN KINGI made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
More Alan King Quotes
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You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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There’s nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
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We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.
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When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
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For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It’s much more fun.
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
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It’s more fun with someone who really likes it. I can’t imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
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I had a sympathetic role in ‘thirtysomething,’ and in two weeks I’m going to do the role again.
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Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
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When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn’t like it. I had to get even.
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The other day my house caught fire.
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There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.
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I didn’t know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
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It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
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Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
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That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
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My mother’s sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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An old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: ‘Don’t end up like me.
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
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I don’t mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
ALAN KING