If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
ALAN KINGI had a sympathetic role in ‘thirtysomething,’ and in two weeks I’m going to do the role again.
More Alan King Quotes
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Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
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I don’t mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
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Then, of course, you’re hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
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My mother’s sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
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There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who’s living.
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We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.
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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.
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When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
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Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
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We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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One thing I’ve never said in my whole life is, ‘Let’s have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.’
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My lawyer said, “Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?” I said, “Fire and theft.” The lawyer frowned. “Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.”
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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
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I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
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Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up ‘vaudeville’ in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says ‘Milton Berle’ – and he made it just a tremendous party.
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I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
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I won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.
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The other day my house caught fire.
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Let’s face it: It’s difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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Modesty is not one of my virtues.
ALAN KING