Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
ALAN KINGWe get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…
More Alan King Quotes
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.
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Modesty is not one of my virtues.
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My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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Then, of course, you’re hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…
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It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
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My mother’s sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
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You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.
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It’s more fun with someone who really likes it. I can’t imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
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When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I’m going to have for dinner or I can’t get through the day.
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Now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
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As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
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I didn’t know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
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We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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I had a sympathetic role in ‘thirtysomething,’ and in two weeks I’m going to do the role again.
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Let’s face it: It’s difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.
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When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex.
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My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn’t let him cut my nails.
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
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A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let’s eat!
ALAN KING