“Washing your car and polishing it all up is a never failing sign of rain.”

A friend that ain’t in need is a friend indeed.

I’m sorry to inform you that your 50 year warranty has expired on your back, knees, and memory.

Lots of fellows think a home is only good to borrow money on.

Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.

Folks that blurt out just what they think wouldn’t be so bad if they thought.

No matter how much strong black coffee we drink, almost any after- dinner speech will counteract it.

As to those who hoard gold and silver and spend it not in God’s path, give them, then, the tidings of a painful agony.

Don’t a fellow feel good after he gets out of a store where he nearly bought something.

Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.

Look out for the people who allow you to do all the talking.

Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

The longer it takes you to select a cantaloupe, the worse it is!

There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?

Knowin’ all about baseball is just about as profitable as bein’ a good whittler.

It isn’t enough for you to love money – it’s also necessary that money should love you.

Honesty pays, but it doesn’t seem to pay enough to suit some people.

No child wants to fail. Everyone wants to succeed.

Those allies who failed to join us will regret it. They’re making a mistake.

If we do our best and make efforts, a peaceful and great future will become ours without fail.

I love being married. I love my husband. I think married people always have that thing where they think that the grass is greener on the single side, but all my single friends are like,

Don’t fall for it. Whenever the mind is happy or sad, don’t fall for it. Its all a deception.

You can only really learn from failure … To win, you need to fail, and fail hard.

There are dreams in my eyes that hold you. Even with the moon and the stars, I would still look at you. On the hard days, I hope you remember what you mean to me. You are magic the world failed to see. You are my dream come true.

Many fail to realize this great recording industry was built by so-called jazz artists.