“I don’t look for much to come out of government ownership as long as we have Democrats and Republicans.”

There is no failure except in no longer trying.

Everything comes to him who waits, except a loaned book.

Very often the quiet fellow has said all he knows

Kindness goes a long ways lots of times when it ought to stay at home.

Many a family tree needs trimming

Intelligent people are always on the unpopular side of anything.

Nobuddy ever listened t’ reason on a empty stomach.

Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.

In order to live off a garden, you practically have to live in it.

Some people pay a compliment as if they expected a receipt.

When a woman says, ‘I don’t wish to mention any names’, it means it ain’t necessary to mention any names.

There are two ways to handle a woman, and nobody knows either of them.

Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Weep, an’ it keeps on laughin’.

An optimist is a fellow who believes what’s going to be will be postponed

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs.

Political tags – such as royalist, communist, democrat, populist, fascist, liberal, conservative, and so forth – are never basic criteria.

It just seems like the Democrats always have a problem when a Republican gets in office.

The United States is unusual among the industrial democracies in the rigidity of the system of ideological control – ‘indoctrination’, we might say – exercised through the mass media.

In the US, there is basically one party – the business party. It has two factions, called Democrats and Republicans, which are somewhat different but carry out variations on the same policies.

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work and then they get elected and prove it.

There is only one thing that gives me hope as a Republican, and that is the Democrats. It’s going to be hard to do a worse job running American than the Republicans have, but if anybody can do it, it’s the Democrats.

I still believe that the Democrats have it right about health care, education.

Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they’ve told you what you think it is you want to hear.