“Men are not punished for their sins, but by them.”

Nothing dispels enthusiasm like a small admission fee.

Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.

Some people are so sensitive that they feel snubbed if an epidemic overlooks them.

Some folks pay a compliment like they went down in their pocket for it.

Every father expects his boy to do the things he wouldn’t do when he was young.

The election is not very far off when a candidate can recognize you across the street.

When you consider what a chance women have to poison their husbands, it’s a wonder there isn’t more of it done

Litigation: A form of hell whereby money is transferred from the pockets of the proletariat to that of lawyers.

No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.

The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.

Executive: a man who makes quick decisions and is sometimes right.

Bargain… anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on.

The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.

On a day when these things shall be heated in hell-fire, and their foreheads, and their sides, and their backs shall be branded therewith.

One of the commonest mistakes is thinking your worries are over when your children get married.

Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn’t have as many monuments to unveil.

You wanted to look at life for yourself – but you were not allowed; you were punished for your wish.

Selsdon Man is designing a system of society for the ruthlessness and the pushing, the uncaring. His message to the rest is: you’re out on your own.

I punish myself more than anybody else does if I am stupid about my actions, and I suffer, really suffer.

And now, farewell to kindness, humanity and gratitude… I have substituted myself for Providence in rewarding the good; may the God of vengeance now yield me His place to punish the wicked.

Nations, like individuals, are punished for their transgressions.

But to punish and not to restore, that is the greatest of all offences.

It’s customary when great events happen that the U.S. punishes its friends and rewards its enemies.

All the human actions we think of as essential to a character – had be censored by the self lest they be punished by the state.