“Live so that you can at least get the benefit of the doubt.”

Nothing dispels enthusiasm like a small admission fee.

Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.

Some people are so sensitive that they feel snubbed if an epidemic overlooks them.

Some folks pay a compliment like they went down in their pocket for it.

Every father expects his boy to do the things he wouldn’t do when he was young.

The election is not very far off when a candidate can recognize you across the street.

When you consider what a chance women have to poison their husbands, it’s a wonder there isn’t more of it done

Litigation: A form of hell whereby money is transferred from the pockets of the proletariat to that of lawyers.

No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.

The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.

Executive: a man who makes quick decisions and is sometimes right.

Bargain… anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on.

The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.

On a day when these things shall be heated in hell-fire, and their foreheads, and their sides, and their backs shall be branded therewith.

One of the commonest mistakes is thinking your worries are over when your children get married.

Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn’t have as many monuments to unveil.

The more you understand how your salvation isn’t about your behavior, the more radically your behavior will change.

All I try to do is create an atmosphere that seems comfortable enough, that it removes tension and everyone feels free. If they feel free then behaviour happens, small moments happen and that’s what ultimately works the best for me.

Being judgmental about your own behavior is actually another cop-out because it makes you feel as though you’re doing something virtuous.

Human behavior is timeless.

How do you change your behavior? Change what you worship

The alcoholic and the drug addict harm only themselves by their behavior; the person who violates the rules of morality governing mans life in society harms not only himself, but everyone.

Suffering is nature’s way of indicating a mistaken attitude or way of behavior, and to the nonegocentric person every moment of suffering is the opportunity for growth. People should rejoice in suffering, strange as it sounds, for this is a sign of the availability of energy to transform their characters.

The day is not far off when the economic problem will take the back seat where it belongs, and the arena of the heart and the head will be occupied or reoccupied, by our real problems – the problems of life and of human relations, of creation and behavior and religion.