“There is plenty of peace in any home where the family doesn’t make the mistake of trying to get together.”

Some folks seem to have descended from the chimpanzee much later than others.

A sadder but wiser man is a thousand times more agreeable to meet than the feller that never makes a mistake.

My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who has lost three husbands.

The hardest thing is writing a recommendation for someone we know.

A never-failing way to get rid of a fellow is to tell him something for his own good.

If the government was as afraid of disturbing the consumer as it is of disturbing business, this would be some democracy.

When some folks agree with my opinions I begin to suspect I’m wrong.

If there’s anything a public servant hates to do it’s something for the public.

There is no defeat except from within, no really insurmountable barrier save our own inherent weakness of purpose.

It ain’t a bad plan to keep still occasionally even when you know what you’re talking about.

It’s what a fellow thinks he knows that hurts him.

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.

Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.

Nothing dispels enthusiasm like a small admission fee.

Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.

Some people are so sensitive that they feel snubbed if an epidemic overlooks them.

I just hope I don’t have to explain all the times I’ve used His name in vain when I get up there.

I think as any artist you always want to grow; you always want to get better.

Cleansed of its leftist residues, anarchy – anarchism minus Marxism – will be free to get better at being what it is.

We usually meet all of our relatives only at funerals where somebody always observes: “Too bad we can’t get together more often”.

When a man is no longer anxious to do better than well, he is done for.

It’s about being proud of who you are, being proud of your situation and just being stoked that things are always going to get better or always gonna get worse and that’s such a great thing. Every day is a new surprise.

I am scared of getting old. I am scared of being ill.

We actors don’t travel as tourists with a camera, we really get to enter the life of a place and get to know it.