Beauty is . . . a valuable asset if you’re poor or haven’t any sense.
KIN HUBBARDFlattery won’t hurt you if you don’t swallow it.
More Kin Hubbard Quotes
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Litigation: A form of hell whereby money is transferred from the pockets of the proletariat to that of lawyers.
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There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?
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The less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.
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Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs.
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I don’t look for much to come out of government ownership as long as we have Democrats and Republicans.
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Honesty pays, but it doesn’t seem to pay enough to suit some people.
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There is no defeat except from within, no really insurmountable barrier save our own inherent weakness of purpose.
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Nobody kicks on being interrupted if it’s by applause.
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Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.
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Live so that you can at least get the benefit of the doubt.
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Only one fellow in ten thousand understands the currency question, and we meet him every day.
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There are two ways to handle a woman, and nobody knows either of them.
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If at first you do succeed don’t take any more chances.
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A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.
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In order to live off a garden, you practically have to live in it.
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Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.
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University: … a place where rich men send their sons who have no aptitude for business.
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Look out for the people who allow you to do all the talking.
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Don’t knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn’t start a conversation if it didn’t change once in a while.
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Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.
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One of the simple but genuine pleasures in life is getting up in the morning and hurrying to a mousetrap you set the night before.
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Luckily your lifetime warranty on your heart is still in effect. Of course, that becomes void and expires when you do.
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Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn’t have as many monuments to unveil.
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Intelligent people are always on the unpopular side of anything.
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Some folks can look so busy doing nothing that they seem indispensable.
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Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.
KIN HUBBARD