I’m sorry to inform you that your 50 year warranty has expired on your back, knees, and memory.
KIN HUBBARDExecutive: a man who makes quick decisions and is sometimes right.
More Kin Hubbard Quotes
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Honesty pays, but it doesn’t seem to pay enough to suit some people.
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There is no failure except in no longer trying.
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The worst waste of breath, next to playing a saxophone, is advising a son
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Some fellows get credit for being conservative when they are only stupid.
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Some folks can look so busy doing nothing that they seem indispensable.
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Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.
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Lots of fellows think a home is only good to borrow money on.
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Some people pay a compliment as if they expected a receipt.
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Folks that blurt out just what they think wouldn’t be so bad if they thought.
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Men are not punished for their sins, but by them.
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The election is not very far off when a candidate can recognize you across the street.
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Some folks seem to have descended from the chimpanzee much later than others.
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Don’t knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn’t start a conversation if it didn’t change once in a while.
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The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.
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Nothing dispels enthusiasm like a small admission fee.
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A sadder but wiser man is a thousand times more agreeable to meet than the feller that never makes a mistake.
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It’s what a fellow thinks he knows that hurts him.
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There are two ways to handle a woman, and nobody knows either of them.
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If at first you do succeed don’t take any more chances.
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My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who has lost three husbands.
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There’s another advantage to being poor – a doctor will cure you faster.
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I never saw an athletic girl that thought she was strong enough to do indoor work.
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A friend that ain’t in need is a friend indeed.
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Bargain… anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on.
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Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn’t have as many monuments to unveil.
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Every father expects his boy to do the things he wouldn’t do when he was young.
KIN HUBBARD