“I do try to work out a little. I go swimming twice a day. It beats buying golf balls.”

I was called Rembrandt Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas.

The help (in Japan) is very polite. They bow so much, you don’t know which end to talk to.

Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don’t worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.

She got to enjoy the personal side of the players. They were her kids. The Braves were her family.

Free speech isn’t dead in Germany and Italy, merely the speakers.

I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They’re still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.

I do benefits for all religions – I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he’s really pissed off.

Bing Crosby and I weren’t the types to go around kissing each other. We always had a light jab for each other.

Pebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass.

I’ve been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.

Whenever I play with him , I usually try to make it a foursome – the President, myself, a paramedic and a faith healer.

I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, “Don’t worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it’s obsolete.”

I don’t know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.

I get upset over a bad shot just like anyone else. But it’s silly to let the game get to you.

I never played a round when I didn’t learn something new about the game.

A good golf course makes you want to play so badly that you hardly have the time to change your shoes.

Placing the ball in the right position for the next shot is eighty percent of winning golf.

I play with friends, but we don’t play friendly games.

This is happening all over the world. It’s not just this golf course. Hopefully, if it stays dry, it will let a few more people in (contention). If it gets wet, though, there’s only a few people where it’s attainable.

There are no shortcuts in the quest for perfection.

Control is the main thing, and the tee shot is the most important shot in golf. You’ve got to hit the fairway before you have a good chance of putting the ball close to the pin. You can be the greatest iron player in the world, but if you’re in the boondocks it won’t do you any good.

The ultimate judge of your swing is the flight of the ball.