Audiences are my best friends. You never tire of talking with your best friends.
BOB HOPEEighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight – and that was just their hair.
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My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They’re still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.
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I once showed Pat Bradley my swing and said, ‘What do I do next?’ Pat replied, ‘Wait till the pain dies down.’
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You know you’ve reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.
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Timing is the essence of life, and definitely of comedy.
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We’re on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It’s a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.
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I was called Rembrandt Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas.
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You know what a fan letter is – it’s just an inky raspberry.
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Television is the box they buried entertainment in.
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I have too much money invested in sweaters.
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Everybody is afraid they won’t have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
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Golf is my profession Show business is just to pay the green fees.
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All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It’s in the lease.
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By the 9th hole they were engaged and when they finished on 18 they had a foursome.
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There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.
BOB HOPE