It’s very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just right. Then, on my way home, I see couples on every street corner doing it better.
BOB HOPEThe big difference in those days was that in England the Government subsidized TV, in America we work on TV so we can subsidize the Government.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
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She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn’t help wondering from what direction.
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I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.
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I like to play in the low 70’s. If it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar!
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I’d give up golf if I didn’t have so many sweaters.
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That’s life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score.
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Whenever I play with him , I usually try to make it a foursome – the President, myself, a paramedic and a faith healer.
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On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he’s now my golf bag.
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Cypress Point is such a beautiful place, but it’s also very exclusive. They had a very successful membership drive last month. They drove out forty members.
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I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.
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All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It’s in the lease.
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When you get over 95, every day is your day.
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At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.
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The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I’ve encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM SERVICE – and a maid to press it for me.
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Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
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He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.
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It’s a wonderful way to live, and not a bad way to go, either. The average Frenchman is still smiling three months after he’s dead.
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Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.
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I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, “Don’t worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it’s obsolete.”
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Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.
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We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.
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Not that they were that anxious to see Ronnie as President; they were afraid if he didn’t get elected, he’d go back to acting.
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The stealth bomber is supposed to be a big deal. It flies in undetected, bombs, then flies away. Hell, I’ve been doing that all my life.
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Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I’ve never heard of a clean one.
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It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn’t know they had a caddie division.
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Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
BOB HOPE