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As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window.

Bob Hope

I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
BOB HOPE

Country People Political Jokes
I’ve been married fifty-five years and I’ve been home three weeks.
BOB HOPE

Home Marriage Years
Chiropractic is a wonderful means of natural healing!
BOB HOPE

Healing Mean Wonderful
Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I’ve never heard of a clean one.
BOB HOPE

Country Dirty People War
I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.
BOB HOPE

Caddies Golf Lying
People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
BOB HOPE

Country Kissing Lazy Love People
Free speech isn’t dead in Germany and Italy, merely the speakers.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Italian
A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
BOB HOPE

Funny Hope Love
When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things – not the great occasions – that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness.
BOB HOPE

Happiness Inspirational Laughter
I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
BOB HOPE

Men President Six
It was a typically British birth… I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward… I came out in sympathy.
BOB HOPE

Funny Hilarious Sympathy Witty
In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you.
BOB HOPE

Funny Rain Weather
One of our stock lines used to be “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Bing, and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for me.” And that’s the way we go through life – doing nothing for each other!
BOB HOPE

Each Lines Nothing Other Stock Way
Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?
BOB HOPE

Dresses Funny Humorous Oil
It’s amazing how many people you see on TV. I did my first television show a month ago, and the next day five million television sets were sold. The people who couldn’t sell theirs threw them away.
BOB HOPE

Day Next People See Sold Television
A very, very religious man. Every time I eat a peanut, I feel immortal.
BOB HOPE

Men One Line Religious

As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window.

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As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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