Golf is a funny game. It’s done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I’m the healthiest idiot in the world.
BOB HOPEWhen you get over 95, every day is your day.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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There are many talented English personalities, but unfortunately they were all in Hollywood.
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Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend’s house during a power failure.
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If I had that kind of money, I wouldn’t come to Vietnam, I’d send for it.
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The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he’s not running for anything.
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Please don’t stand up on my account.
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That’s life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score.
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Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It’s going to get us out of the house after dark!
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He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England
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I’d give up golf if I didn’t have so many sweaters.
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Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn’t know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He’s always had an agent for that.
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I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
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She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn’t help wondering from what direction.
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It’s a wonderful world. It may destroy itself but you’ll be able to watch it all on TV.
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Bing Crosby and I play a lot of golf together and I have a small course at my place where we often play for side stakes.
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I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
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Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?
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My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?
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One of our stock lines used to be “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Bing, and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for me.” And that’s the way we go through life – doing nothing for each other!
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I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.
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The high point of the act is when he (Uri Durov) puts his head inside the bear’s huge jaws. I wouldn’t even try that with my agent.
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I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.
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A few years ago he had a big heart transplant in Chicago, a five-hour operation. It took the doctors four hours to get him on the operating table.
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Television. That’s where movies go when they die.
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Be happy you guys. Be proud! You know what you are: you’re God’s frozen people.
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Chiropractic is a wonderful means of natural healing!
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Everybody is afraid they won’t have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
BOB HOPE