President Eisenhower has given up golf for painting. It takes fewer strokes.
BOB HOPEMost of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies
More Bob Hope Quotes
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It’s amazing how many people you see on TV. I did my first television show a month ago, and the next day five million television sets were sold. The people who couldn’t sell theirs threw them away.
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A very, very religious man. Every time I eat a peanut, I feel immortal.
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Bing Crosby and I weren’t the types to go around kissing each other. We always had a light jab for each other.
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The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.
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Free speech isn’t dead in Germany and Italy, merely the speakers.
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I’ve always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
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For the first time, you can actually see the losers turn green
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Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.
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Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands
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I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.
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When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things – not the great occasions – that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness.
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If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.
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Laughter is therapy-an instant vacation.
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You know what a fan letter is – it’s just an inky raspberry.
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I was there. I saw your sons and your husbands, your brothers and your sweethearts. I saw how they worked, played, fought, and lived. I saw some of them die.
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The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn’t got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it.
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The high point of the act is when he (Uri Durov) puts his head inside the bear’s huge jaws. I wouldn’t even try that with my agent.
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Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies
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It’s a wonderful way to live, and not a bad way to go, either. The average Frenchman is still smiling three months after he’s dead.
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I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don’t they just print our money with a return address on it?
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I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.
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Please don’t stand up on my account.
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I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you’re turning the pages.
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I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, “Don’t worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it’s obsolete.”
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Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend’s house during a power failure.
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A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
BOB HOPE