My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They’re still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.
BOB HOPE
I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, “Don’t worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it’s obsolete.”
More Bob Hope Quotes
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Milton Hope led the singing of Happy Birthday … He would say, ‘Keep it sweet and short and don’t try to be funny.’
BOB HOPE -
I feel, first of all, very privileged that these people think enough of me that they made me commissioner. And it’s almost like, as Yogi Berra said, ‘deja vu all over again.’
BOBBY HULL -
Christianity is a religion in a rush.
YANN MARTEL -
Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies
BOB HOPE -
Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.
BOB HOPE -
He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.
BOB HOPE -
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He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England
BOB HOPE -
I don’t know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.
BOB HOPE -
The help (in Japan) is very polite. They bow so much, you don’t know which end to talk to.
BOB HOPE -
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Not that they were that anxious to see Ronnie as President; they were afraid if he didn’t get elected, he’d go back to acting.
BOB HOPE -
I’ve been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.
BOB HOPE -
Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
BOB HOPE