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The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.

Bob Hope

Everybody knows what California smog is – that’s fog with the vitamins removed.
BOB HOPE

Country Fog Funny Remove
Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.
BOB HOPE

Drinking Kissing Tea
Titleist has offered me a big contract not to play its balls.
BOB HOPE

Balls Golf Play
The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.
BOB HOPE

Better Get Home Video
I’d give up golf if I didn’t have so many sweaters.
BOB HOPE

Giving Golf Sweaters Up
Failure is the only thing I’ve ever been a success at.
BOB HOPE

Decent Garden State
Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
BOB HOPE

Citizen Funny Golf Hope
Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend’s house during a power failure.
BOB HOPE

Failure Girlfriend House Sex
I don’t know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.
BOB HOPE

Animal Running White
When you get over 95, every day is your day.
BOB HOPE

Country Day Every Get Over People
The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he’s not running for anything.
BOB HOPE

Aspiration Funny Presidential Running States
It’s a wonderful world. It may destroy itself but you’ll be able to watch it all on TV.
BOB HOPE

May Watches World
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
BOB HOPE

Day Mean Motherhood Mothers
Golf is a funny game. It’s done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I’m the healthiest idiot in the world.
BOB HOPE

Games Golf Hope Look People Ruin
Lots of travel, away from home.
BOB HOPE

Away From Home Line One
It was a typically British birth… I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward… I came out in sympathy.
BOB HOPE

Funny Hilarious Sympathy Witty

The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.

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The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.

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