People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
BOB HOPEI don’t know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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Lots of travel, away from home.
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We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.
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To give you an idea of how fast we travelled – we left with two rabbits and when we arrived we still had only two.
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I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
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A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
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The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent’s handshake.
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Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn’t know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He’s always had an agent for that.
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I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.
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By the 9th hole they were engaged and when they finished on 18 they had a foursome.
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I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons.
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For the first time, you can actually see the losers turn green
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And on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them.
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You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor’s age by the rings on her fingers.
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Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career.
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It’s so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.
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Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don’t worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.
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All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It’s in the lease.
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The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn’t got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it.
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Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It’s going to get us out of the house after dark!
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I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.
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I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.
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When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor’s Orphanage – he shot both his parents and moved in.
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Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.
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You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra.
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I’ve been married fifty-five years and I’ve been home three weeks.
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I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight – and that was just their hair.
BOB HOPE