Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.
BOB HOPEIt’s very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just right. Then, on my way home, I see couples on every street corner doing it better.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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Lots of travel, away from home.
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I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
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Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend’s house during a power failure.
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Be happy you guys. Be proud! You know what you are: you’re God’s frozen people.
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You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra.
BOB HOPE -
The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
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Cypress Point is such a beautiful place, but it’s also very exclusive. They had a very successful membership drive last month. They drove out forty members.
BOB HOPE -
I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.
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Everybody knows what California smog is – that’s fog with the vitamins removed.
BOB HOPE -
There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.
BOB HOPE -
Don’t tempt me, I can resist anything but temptation.
BOB HOPE -
We had a very successful trip to Russia. We made it back.
BOB HOPE -
The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I’ve encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM SERVICE – and a maid to press it for me.
BOB HOPE -
To give you an idea of how fast we travelled – we left with two rabbits and when we arrived we still had only two.
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Television. That’s where movies go when they die.
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And on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them.
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I was there. I saw your sons and your husbands, your brothers and your sweethearts. I saw how they worked, played, fought, and lived. I saw some of them die.
BOB HOPE -
We’re on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It’s a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.
BOB HOPE -
My secret for staying young is good food, plenty of rest, and a makeup man with a spray gun.
BOB HOPE -
On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he’s now my golf bag.
BOB HOPE -
I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don’t they just print our money with a return address on it?
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I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, “Don’t worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it’s obsolete.”
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Perfume acts as an anesthetic. By the time she floats a little your way, you’ll promise her anything.
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If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.
BOB HOPE -
I can’t give up Golf, I’ve got too many sweaters.
BOB HOPE -
Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn’t hear them.
BOB HOPE