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My secret for staying young is good food, plenty of rest, and a makeup man with a spray gun.

Bob Hope

I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don’t they just print our money with a return address on it?
BOB HOPE

Addresses Government Perfect Return
I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Love People Witty
There’s a very apt saying in show business: “If you don’t go over budget in Paris, you’re either very rich or very sick. “
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Paris
If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.
BOB HOPE

Golf Relax Right Thinking
I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
BOB HOPE

Men President Six
He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.
BOB HOPE

Balls Go Golf Yards
The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.
BOB HOPE

Country Humorous People Soup
When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things – not the great occasions – that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness.
BOB HOPE

Happiness Inspirational Laughter
I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing over for, oh, perhaps half.
BOB HOPE

Although Beautiful Girl Lucky Over Thing Whole
England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there.
BOB HOPE

England Funny Humorous Performance
A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
BOB HOPE

Heart Humor Laughter
You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra.
BOB HOPE

Book Funny Reading
I do try to work out a little. I go swimming twice a day. It beats buying golf balls.
BOB HOPE

Golf Swimming Work Out
Please don’t stand up on my account.
BOB HOPE

Account Line One Please Stand
Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn’t hear them.
BOB HOPE

Funny Item People Telling Years
It’s very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just right. Then, on my way home, I see couples on every street corner doing it better.
BOB HOPE

Better Couple Funny Humorous

My secret for staying young is good food, plenty of rest, and a makeup man with a spray gun.

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My secret for staying young is good food, plenty of rest, and a makeup man with a spray gun.

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