Titleist has offered me a big contract not to play its balls.
BOB HOPEIf he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.
BOB HOPE -
The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he’s not running for anything.
BOB HOPE -
I led such a sheltered life I didn’t go out with girls until I was almost four.
BOB HOPE -
The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.
BOB HOPE -
I was called Rembrandt Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas.
BOB HOPE -
Whenever I play with him , I usually try to make it a foursome – the President, myself, a paramedic and a faith healer.
BOB HOPE -
When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.
BOB HOPE -
I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing over for, oh, perhaps half.
BOB HOPE -
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
BOB HOPE -
Free speech isn’t dead in Germany and Italy, merely the speakers.
BOB HOPE -
I have too much money invested in sweaters.
BOB HOPE -
Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I’ve never heard of a clean one.
BOB HOPE -
Audiences are my best friends. You never tire of talking with your best friends.
BOB HOPE -
I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons.
BOB HOPE -
It’s so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.
BOB HOPE -
Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.
BOB HOPE -
A photographer kept shooting me every time I swung. I was very flattered until I found out he was from Field and Stream.
BOB HOPE -
If my golf game was a prize fight, they’d stop it.
BOB HOPE -
Chiropractic is a wonderful means of natural healing!
BOB HOPE -
You know what a fan letter is – it’s just an inky raspberry.
BOB HOPE -
I’ve never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn’t know how really great he is.
BOB HOPE -
The high point of the act is when he (Uri Durov) puts his head inside the bear’s huge jaws. I wouldn’t even try that with my agent.
BOB HOPE -
At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.
BOB HOPE -
Television. That’s where movies go when they die.
BOB HOPE -
I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight – and that was just their hair.
BOB HOPE -
For the first time, you can actually see the losers turn green
BOB HOPE