A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
BOB HOPEWhen I miss a shot I just think what a beautiful day it is. And what pure fresh air I’m breathing. Then I take a deep breath. I have to do that. That’s what gives me the strength to break the club.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I’ve never heard of a clean one.
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We have 51 golf courses in Palm Springs. He [President Ford] never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot.
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I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
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The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.
BOB HOPE -
Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career.
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Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
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It’s amazing how many people you see on TV. I did my first television show a month ago, and the next day five million television sets were sold. The people who couldn’t sell theirs threw them away.
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I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
BOB HOPE -
The only troulbe is that when I win, I always have to engage and attorney before I can draw the money.
BOB HOPE -
I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons.
BOB HOPE -
Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
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The high point of the act is when he (Uri Durov) puts his head inside the bear’s huge jaws. I wouldn’t even try that with my agent.
BOB HOPE -
I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight – and that was just their hair.
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Milton Hope led the singing of Happy Birthday … He would say, ‘Keep it sweet and short and don’t try to be funny.’
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Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands
BOB HOPE -
Baseball is a soap opera that plays out day after day, one that a lot of elderly women watch until the characters and the plot becomes a part of their life.
BOB HOPE -
If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.
BOB HOPE -
Television. That’s where movies go when they die.
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Pebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass.
BOB HOPE -
Failure is the only thing I’ve ever been a success at.
BOB HOPE -
Laughter is therapy-an instant vacation.
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It’s not hard to find Gerry Ford on a golf course – you just follow the wounded.
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The stealth bomber is supposed to be a big deal. It flies in undetected, bombs, then flies away. Hell, I’ve been doing that all my life.
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I’ve always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It’s an island and the audience can’t run very far.
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The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.
BOB HOPE -
There are many talented English personalities, but unfortunately they were all in Hollywood.
BOB HOPE