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We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.

Bob Hope

Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?
BOB HOPE

Dresses Funny Humorous Oil
We had a very successful trip to Russia. We made it back.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Successful
It was a typically British birth… I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward… I came out in sympathy.
BOB HOPE

Funny Hilarious Sympathy Witty
Whenever I play with him , I usually try to make it a foursome – the President, myself, a paramedic and a faith healer.
BOB HOPE

Golf Paramedic Play Trying
I don’t know what people have against Jimmy Carter. He’s done nothing.
BOB HOPE

Carter Done Nothing People
The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.
BOB HOPE

Better Get Home Video
A very, very religious man. Every time I eat a peanut, I feel immortal.
BOB HOPE

Men One Line Religious
He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.
BOB HOPE

Balls Go Golf Yards
I’ll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
BOB HOPE

Age Golf Live Shoot
Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
BOB HOPE

Citizen Funny Golf Hope
On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he’s now my golf bag.
BOB HOPE

Alligators Bags Golf
The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.
BOB HOPE

Aspirin Firm Print Times
If my golf game was a prize fight, they’d stop it.
BOB HOPE

Fighting Games Golf
When you get over 95, every day is your day.
BOB HOPE

Country Day Every Get Over People
Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Night Reason Same
I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.
BOB HOPE

Hands Men Ruined Stepping

We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.

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We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bob Hope Quotes