Television. That’s where movies go when they die.
BOB HOPETiming is the essence of life, and definitely of comedy.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you’re turning the pages.
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I like to play in the low 70’s. If it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar!
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I do try to work out a little. I go swimming twice a day. It beats buying golf balls.
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I saw more courage, more good humor in the face of discomfort, more love in an era of hate and more devotion to duty than could exist under tyranny.
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Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells ‘Fore!’ the guy he’s hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
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I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don’t they just print our money with a return address on it?
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She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn’t help wondering from what direction.
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Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies
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I get upset over a bad shot just like anyone else. But it’s silly to let the game get to you.
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I can’t give up Golf, I’ve got too many sweaters.
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The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
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Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn’t know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He’s always had an agent for that.
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Television is the box they buried entertainment in.
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You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor’s age by the rings on her fingers.
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The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.
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I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
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When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.
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I’ve always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
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Now that the war is winding down, I want to say I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here – just for me.
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Don’t tempt me, I can resist anything but temptation.
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He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England
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Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn’t hear them.
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A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
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My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They’re still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.
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The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.
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One of our stock lines used to be “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Bing, and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for me.” And that’s the way we go through life – doing nothing for each other!
BOB HOPE