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Now that the war is winding down, I want to say I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here – just for me.

Bob Hope

Bing Crosby and I play a lot of golf together and I have a small course at my place where we often play for side stakes.
BOB HOPE

Course Golf Play Small Winning
I don’t know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.
BOB HOPE

Animal Running White
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
BOB HOPE

Day Mean Motherhood Mothers
Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands
BOB HOPE

Culture Hands Moving
The high point of the act is when he (Uri Durov) puts his head inside the bear’s huge jaws. I wouldn’t even try that with my agent.
BOB HOPE

Act Agents Funny High Inside Trying
As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window.
BOB HOPE

Food Funny Humorous
There are many talented English personalities, but unfortunately they were all in Hollywood.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Personality Talented
I like to come to Washington, D.C., at least once a year. Why should my tax money travel more than I do?
BOB HOPE

One Should Taxes Travel Years
I’ve never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn’t know how really great he is.
BOB HOPE

Actors Oscar Reassuring
America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan – Go for the Gold.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Humorous
I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.
BOB HOPE

Caddies Golf Lying
It was a typically British birth… I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward… I came out in sympathy.
BOB HOPE

Funny Hilarious Sympathy Witty
The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.
BOB HOPE

Funny Giving Humor
A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
BOB HOPE

Heart Humor Laughter
For the first time, you can actually see the losers turn green
BOB HOPE

Firsts Green Oscars
Everybody knows what California smog is – that’s fog with the vitamins removed.
BOB HOPE

Country Fog Funny Remove

Now that the war is winding down, I want to say I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here – just for me.

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Popular Authors

Now that the war is winding down, I want to say I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here – just for me.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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