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A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

Bob Hope

I’ve never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn’t know how really great he is.
BOB HOPE

Actors Oscar Reassuring
I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, “Don’t worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it’s obsolete.”
BOB HOPE

Aircraft Asked Bob Obsolete Type Worry
The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
BOB HOPE

Age Growing Long
I once showed Pat Bradley my swing and said, ‘What do I do next?’ Pat replied, ‘Wait till the pain dies down.’
BOB HOPE

Dies Golf Pain Swings
Golf is my profession Show business is just to pay the green fees.
BOB HOPE

Business Golf Green Pay
To give you an idea of how fast we travelled – we left with two rabbits and when we arrived we still had only two.
BOB HOPE

Arrive Giving Ideas Still Two
I like to come to Washington, D.C., at least once a year. Why should my tax money travel more than I do?
BOB HOPE

One Should Taxes Travel Years
The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent’s handshake.
BOB HOPE

Funny Handshake Tired Water
I’ll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
BOB HOPE

Age Golf Live Shoot
There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Pointed Rip
Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Funny Marriage Two
A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
BOB HOPE

Funny Hope Love
On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he’s now my golf bag.
BOB HOPE

Alligators Bags Golf
I’ve been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.
BOB HOPE

Games Golf Numeral Roman
Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career.
BOB HOPE

Careers Dying Line One
I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.
BOB HOPE

Caddies Golf Lying

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

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A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

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Popular Authors

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