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If my golf game was a prize fight, they’d stop it.

Bob Hope

I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing over for, oh, perhaps half.
BOB HOPE

Although Beautiful Girl Lucky Over Thing Whole
Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career.
BOB HOPE

Careers Dying Line One
In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you.
BOB HOPE

Funny Rain Weather
The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent’s handshake.
BOB HOPE

Funny Handshake Tired Water
Audiences are my best friends. You never tire of talking with your best friends.
BOB HOPE

Best Friend Talking Tire
The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
BOB HOPE

Age Growing Long
One of the greatest gifts to mankind is laughter, and one of the greatest gifts to laughter is Lucille Ball. God has her now but thanks to television, we’ll have her forever.
BOB HOPE

Balls Forever Gifts Good Greatest Laughter Thank
I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you’re turning the pages.
BOB HOPE

Extra Pages Personally Turning
I’d give up golf if I didn’t have so many sweaters.
BOB HOPE

Giving Golf Sweaters Up
It’s very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just right. Then, on my way home, I see couples on every street corner doing it better.
BOB HOPE

Better Couple Funny Humorous
Pebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass.
BOB HOPE

Beach Golf Grass Pebbles
The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.
BOB HOPE

Funny Giving Humor
I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
BOB HOPE

Golf Green Pay
Failure is the only thing I’ve ever been a success at.
BOB HOPE

Decent Garden State
You know what a fan letter is – it’s just an inky raspberry.
BOB HOPE

Fans Letters Raspberries
There are many talented English personalities, but unfortunately they were all in Hollywood.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Personality Talented

If my golf game was a prize fight, they’d stop it.

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If my golf game was a prize fight, they’d stop it.

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