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It’s amazing how many people you see on TV. I did my first television show a month ago, and the next day five million television sets were sold. The people who couldn’t sell theirs threw them away.

Bob Hope

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Money People
We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.
BOB HOPE

Able Although Country Lost Reservation
The only troulbe is that when I win, I always have to engage and attorney before I can draw the money.
BOB HOPE

Before Draw Engage Money Only Trouble
I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.
BOB HOPE

Hands Men Ruined Stepping
I don’t know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.
BOB HOPE

Animal Running White
People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
BOB HOPE

Country Kissing Lazy Love People
It’s very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just right. Then, on my way home, I see couples on every street corner doing it better.
BOB HOPE

Better Couple Funny Humorous
Pebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass.
BOB HOPE

Beach Golf Grass Pebbles
When I miss a shot I just think what a beautiful day it is. And what pure fresh air I’m breathing. Then I take a deep breath. I have to do that. That’s what gives me the strength to break the club.
BOB HOPE

Beautiful Break Breathing Miss Strength
Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I’ve never heard of a clean one.
BOB HOPE

Country Dirty People War
Chiropractic is a wonderful means of natural healing!
BOB HOPE

Healing Mean Wonderful
A very, very religious man. Every time I eat a peanut, I feel immortal.
BOB HOPE

Men One Line Religious
I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Littles
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
BOB HOPE

Day Mean Motherhood Mothers
At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.
BOB HOPE

Acting Awards Hollywood Press Thinking
She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn’t help wondering from what direction.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Direction Helping Life Wondering
I’ve always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
BOB HOPE

Funny Inspirational Place Proactive Time
If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.
BOB HOPE

Golf Relax Right Thinking
Television is the box they buried entertainment in.
BOB HOPE

Boxes Entertainment Television
That’s life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score.
BOB HOPE

Dieting Golf Loss Weight
In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you.
BOB HOPE

Funny Rain Weather
On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he’s now my golf bag.
BOB HOPE

Alligators Bags Golf
Not that they were that anxious to see Ronnie as President; they were afraid if he didn’t get elected, he’d go back to acting.
BOB HOPE

Acting Funny President
US President Gerald Ford’s golf was so bad we thought he was a ‘Hitman for the PGA!
BOB HOPE

Ford Gerald Golf President
It’s so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.
BOB HOPE

Cold Hands Pockets Politician
We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.
BOB HOPE

Ashes Country Funny Humorous People
Having so many gold courses so close together was ideal for me. With my slice I could enjoy three or four golf courses at the same time.
BOB HOPE

Funny Golf Same Time Together

It’s amazing how many people you see on TV. I did my first television show a month ago, and the next day five million television sets were sold. The people who couldn’t sell theirs threw them away.

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It’s amazing how many people you see on TV. I did my first television show a month ago, and the next day five million television sets were sold. The people who couldn’t sell theirs threw them away.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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