I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
BOB HOPELaughter is therapy-an instant vacation.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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The high point of the act is when he (Uri Durov) puts his head inside the bear’s huge jaws. I wouldn’t even try that with my agent.
BOB HOPE -
I just hope I don’t have to explain all the times I’ve used His name in vain when I get up there.
BOB HOPE -
Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
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Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies
BOB HOPE -
It’s a wonderful way to live, and not a bad way to go, either. The average Frenchman is still smiling three months after he’s dead.
BOB HOPE -
The help (in Japan) is very polite. They bow so much, you don’t know which end to talk to.
BOB HOPE -
Chiropractic is a wonderful means of natural healing!
BOB HOPE -
He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.
BOB HOPE -
Everybody knows what California smog is – that’s fog with the vitamins removed.
BOB HOPE -
The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.
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The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent’s handshake.
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It’s very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just right. Then, on my way home, I see couples on every street corner doing it better.
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We have 51 golf courses in Palm Springs. He [President Ford] never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot.
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The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
BOB HOPE -
A photographer kept shooting me every time I swung. I was very flattered until I found out he was from Field and Stream.
BOB HOPE