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He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.

Bob Hope

The help (in Japan) is very polite. They bow so much, you don’t know which end to talk to.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Humorous People
The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.
BOB HOPE

Better Get Home Video
Titleist has offered me a big contract not to play its balls.
BOB HOPE

Balls Golf Play
Chiropractic is a wonderful means of natural healing!
BOB HOPE

Healing Mean Wonderful
I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
BOB HOPE

Golf Green Pay
Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands
BOB HOPE

Culture Hands Moving
I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, “Don’t worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it’s obsolete.”
BOB HOPE

Aircraft Asked Bob Obsolete Type Worry
Television is the box they buried entertainment in.
BOB HOPE

Boxes Entertainment Television
If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.
BOB HOPE

Golf Relax Right Thinking
If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.
BOB HOPE

Balls Golf Nation Slice Worry
Perfume acts as an anesthetic. By the time she floats a little your way, you’ll promise her anything.
BOB HOPE

Country Littles People Promise Way
Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?
BOB HOPE

Dresses Funny Humorous Oil
There are many talented English personalities, but unfortunately they were all in Hollywood.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Personality Talented
England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there.
BOB HOPE

England Funny Humorous Performance
I don’t know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.
BOB HOPE

Animal Running White
Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Rocks

He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.

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He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.

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