Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.
BOB HOPEPebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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I’ve never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn’t know how really great he is.
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We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.
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Perfume acts as an anesthetic. By the time she floats a little your way, you’ll promise her anything.
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Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.
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I’ve always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It’s an island and the audience can’t run very far.
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Television. That’s where movies go when they die.
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I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.
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She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn’t help wondering from what direction.
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I’ll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
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You know what a fan letter is – it’s just an inky raspberry.
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People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
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Everybody is afraid they won’t have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
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The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
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It’s a wonderful world. It may destroy itself but you’ll be able to watch it all on TV.
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A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
BOB HOPE