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Pebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass.

Bob Hope

Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Kids Wonderful
I’ve never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn’t know how really great he is.
BOB HOPE

Actors Oscar Reassuring
We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.
BOB HOPE

Able Although Country Lost Reservation
Perfume acts as an anesthetic. By the time she floats a little your way, you’ll promise her anything.
BOB HOPE

Country Littles People Promise Way
Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.
BOB HOPE

Drinking Kissing Tea
I’ve always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It’s an island and the audience can’t run very far.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Running
Television. That’s where movies go when they die.
BOB HOPE

Country Dies Movie People Television
I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Love People Witty
She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn’t help wondering from what direction.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Direction Helping Life Wondering
I’ll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
BOB HOPE

Age Golf Live Shoot
You know what a fan letter is – it’s just an inky raspberry.
BOB HOPE

Fans Letters Raspberries
People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
BOB HOPE

Country Kissing Lazy Love People
Everybody is afraid they won’t have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
BOB HOPE

Discover Funny Money Taken
The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
BOB HOPE

Apart Dog Miles Pet Tree
It’s a wonderful world. It may destroy itself but you’ll be able to watch it all on TV.
BOB HOPE

May Watches World
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
BOB HOPE

Day Mean Motherhood Mothers

Pebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass.

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Pebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass.

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