I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.
BOB HOPEThe trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.
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Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
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Bing Crosby and I play a lot of golf together and I have a small course at my place where we often play for side stakes.
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Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?
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Golf is a funny game. It’s done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I’m the healthiest idiot in the world.
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The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.
BOB HOPE -
The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.
BOB HOPE -
I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
BOB HOPE -
The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.
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I like to play in the low 70’s. If it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar!
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At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.
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I was lucky I wasn’t a better boxer, or that’s what I’d be now – a punchy ex-pug.
BOB HOPE -
By the 9th hole they were engaged and when they finished on 18 they had a foursome.
BOB HOPE -
I’ll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
BOB HOPE -
Perfume acts as an anesthetic. By the time she floats a little your way, you’ll promise her anything.
BOB HOPE