The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
BOB HOPEThe trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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Audiences are my best friends. You never tire of talking with your best friends.
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There are many talented English personalities, but unfortunately they were all in Hollywood.
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I’ve never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn’t know how really great he is.
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I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you’re turning the pages.
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Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn’t hear them.
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Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.
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I’ll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
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Milton Hope led the singing of Happy Birthday … He would say, ‘Keep it sweet and short and don’t try to be funny.’
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I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, “Don’t worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it’s obsolete.”
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The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.
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The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent’s handshake.
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I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don’t they just print our money with a return address on it?
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A photographer kept shooting me every time I swung. I was very flattered until I found out he was from Field and Stream.
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Not that they were that anxious to see Ronnie as President; they were afraid if he didn’t get elected, he’d go back to acting.
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I like to play in the low 70’s. If it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar!
BOB HOPE