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I tell jokes to pay my green fees.

Bob Hope

The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.
BOB HOPE

Funny Giving Humor
I’d give up golf if I didn’t have so many sweaters.
BOB HOPE

Giving Golf Sweaters Up
Laughter is therapy-an instant vacation.
BOB HOPE

Instant Laughter Vacation
Television is the box they buried entertainment in.
BOB HOPE

Boxes Entertainment Television
I’ve been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.
BOB HOPE

Games Golf Numeral Roman
I get upset over a bad shot just like anyone else. But it’s silly to let the game get to you.
BOB HOPE

Anyone Bad Beautiful Golf Shot Silly
That’s life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score.
BOB HOPE

Dieting Golf Loss Weight
Free speech isn’t dead in Germany and Italy, merely the speakers.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Italian
Chiropractic is a wonderful means of natural healing!
BOB HOPE

Healing Mean Wonderful
Everybody is afraid they won’t have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
BOB HOPE

Discover Funny Money Taken
The help (in Japan) is very polite. They bow so much, you don’t know which end to talk to.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Humorous People
He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England
BOB HOPE

Country Good Line Look One
The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn’t got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Humorous
Not that they were that anxious to see Ronnie as President; they were afraid if he didn’t get elected, he’d go back to acting.
BOB HOPE

Acting Funny President
The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.
BOB HOPE

Better Get Home Video
It’s not hard to find Gerry Ford on a golf course – you just follow the wounded.
BOB HOPE

Course Golf Wounded

I tell jokes to pay my green fees.

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I tell jokes to pay my green fees.

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