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It’s a wonderful world. It may destroy itself but you’ll be able to watch it all on TV.

Bob Hope

I’ve always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
BOB HOPE

Funny Inspirational Place Proactive Time
Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
BOB HOPE

Citizen Funny Golf Hope
I get upset over a bad shot just like anyone else. But it’s silly to let the game get to you.
BOB HOPE

Anyone Bad Beautiful Golf Shot Silly
Bing Crosby and I weren’t the types to go around kissing each other. We always had a light jab for each other.
BOB HOPE

Doing Nothing Kissing Light
The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent’s handshake.
BOB HOPE

Funny Handshake Tired Water
Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands
BOB HOPE

Culture Hands Moving
Everybody is afraid they won’t have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
BOB HOPE

Discover Funny Money Taken
If my golf game was a prize fight, they’d stop it.
BOB HOPE

Fighting Games Golf
You know you’ve reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.
BOB HOPE

Age Country Middle People Weightlifting
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
BOB HOPE

Day Mean Motherhood Mothers
When you get over 95, every day is your day.
BOB HOPE

Country Day Every Get Over People
Don’t tempt me, I can resist anything but temptation.
BOB HOPE

Anything Resist Temptation
There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Pointed Rip
Perfume acts as an anesthetic. By the time she floats a little your way, you’ll promise her anything.
BOB HOPE

Country Littles People Promise Way
People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
BOB HOPE

Country Kissing Lazy Love People
I was called Rembrandt Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas.
BOB HOPE

Boxing Canvas Funny Sports

It’s a wonderful world. It may destroy itself but you’ll be able to watch it all on TV.

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It’s a wonderful world. It may destroy itself but you’ll be able to watch it all on TV.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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