Golf is my profession Show business is just to pay the green fees.
BOB HOPEIf you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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I led such a sheltered life I didn’t go out with girls until I was almost four.
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I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing over for, oh, perhaps half.
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If I had that kind of money, I wouldn’t come to Vietnam, I’d send for it.
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By the 9th hole they were engaged and when they finished on 18 they had a foursome.
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A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
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Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?
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I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, “Don’t worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it’s obsolete.”
BOB HOPE -
We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.
BOB HOPE -
I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons.
BOB HOPE -
If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.
BOB HOPE -
I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.
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A photographer kept shooting me every time I swung. I was very flattered until I found out he was from Field and Stream.
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It’s not hard to find Gerry Ford on a golf course – you just follow the wounded.
BOB HOPE -
Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells ‘Fore!’ the guy he’s hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
BOB HOPE -
Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies
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Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It’s going to get us out of the house after dark!
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People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
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Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.
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I was there. I saw your sons and your husbands, your brothers and your sweethearts. I saw how they worked, played, fought, and lived. I saw some of them die.
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We have 51 golf courses in Palm Springs. He [President Ford] never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot.
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He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England
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I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you’re turning the pages.
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When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things – not the great occasions – that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness.
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Audiences are my best friends. You never tire of talking with your best friends.
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One of our stock lines used to be “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Bing, and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for me.” And that’s the way we go through life – doing nothing for each other!
BOB HOPE -
You know you’ve reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.
BOB HOPE