I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you’re turning the pages.
BOB HOPEI don’t bother to look for parking space anymore. As soon as I get near Hollywood Boulevard … I sell.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.
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Everybody is afraid they won’t have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
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We’re on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It’s a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.
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If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.
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At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.
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US President Gerald Ford’s golf was so bad we thought he was a ‘Hitman for the PGA!
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Golf is a funny game. It’s done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I’m the healthiest idiot in the world.
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I do try to work out a little. I go swimming twice a day. It beats buying golf balls.
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One of our stock lines used to be “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Bing, and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for me.” And that’s the way we go through life – doing nothing for each other!
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I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.
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Milton Hope led the singing of Happy Birthday … He would say, ‘Keep it sweet and short and don’t try to be funny.’
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When you get over 95, every day is your day.
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Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.
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It’s very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just right. Then, on my way home, I see couples on every street corner doing it better.
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Please don’t stand up on my account.
BOB HOPE