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If a mute kid swears, should his mother wash his hands with soap?

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One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, “Didn’t you see the stop sign?” I said, “Yeah, but I don’t believe everything I read”
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Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
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When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing.
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Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I’d have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK.
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If a mute kid swears, should his mother wash his hands with soap?
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If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
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I installed a skylight in my apartment, the people who live above me are furious!
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The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
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Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
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My friend has a baby. I’m recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
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I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
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I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, ‘The whole time.
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I wish the first word I ever said was the word “quote”, so right before I die I could say “unquote”.
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My doctor told me I shouldn’t work out until I’m in better shape. I told him, ‘All right; don’t send me a bill until I pay you.’
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In my house there’s this light switch that doesn’t do anything. Every so often, I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said ‘cut it out’
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