Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don’t have film.
STEVEN WRIGHT
Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
More Steven Wright Quotes
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Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don’t have film.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery’s dead?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
STEVEN WRIGHT -
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child… eventually.
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I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, ‘The whole time.
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I like to reminisce with people I don’t know.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
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I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
STEVEN WRIGHT -
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
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Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
STEVEN WRIGHT